Messy Mamahood

May 11, 2010

Toilette Connoisseur

That's my 6-year-old. The toilette connoisseur. I'm not kidding. The girl has an affinity for public restrooms. Restaurants, department stores, you name it. About the only public restroom she won't use is a port-a-potty. Hey, at least she has some discriminating taste, right?

It started when she was first potty training. We'd go to a restaurant and, inevitably, as soon as the food hit the table I'd hear, "Mommy, I go potty!" Now, I don't share her affinity for public restrooms. In fact, I detest them. And I have a bladder like a steel trap, so I never had to worry about it until Princess-Poops-A-Lot came along.

Oh, did I mention that's what she does in public restrooms? No, it's not just tinkle and get the heck out of Dodge. It's me being trapped in a stinky, tile-laden prison while Ms. Truck Driver curls up with a magazine to do her daily duty.

At least now I know to make her go before the food is delivered, even if she says she doesn't have to...because I know as soon as the food gets there...but even then, sometimes everyone else is half-way through the meal before she's through exploring the great tile walls.

I started thinking maybe she should start a ratings system of public restrooms in the Kansas City area. God knows she's visited nearly every one. I can see it now -

Target: 3 stars (a little on the stale side)
Macy's: 3.5 stars (scratchy toilet paper)
Blue Moose: 3.5 stars (nice ambiance)
BRGR: 2 stars (co-ed, REALLY???)
Jose Peppers: 4 stars (my favorite!)

I guess everyone has their little quirks. Hers has become a running joke in our family, and one I'm certain she'll never live down. I can see her first date meeting the family. Poor guy! And poor Blane. Let's hope she outgrows this before that time comes. I'd hate to see the boy left at the table for half the date. :0)

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